filip's blog-life

щастие / happiness

2008-12-20T07:46:00.000-08:00

взаимоотношенията между хората са нещо много интересно, и много сложно. но може би сме ние тези, които ги правим толкова сложни? защото няма никой, който не иска да бъде щастлив. само че щастието не означава да нараняваш другите, а в почти всички случаи ние сме толкова егоисти, че забравяме да помислим, дали хората, които ни правят щастливи, търсят у нас своето щастие, или са готови да ни дадат щастие. и наистина, всеки един от нас е егоист. и всеки един от нас иска да бъде щастлив. но не се замисля за цената на щастието. ето затова не може да се определи нещо по-сложно от щастието. толкова просто, когато го имаш, и толкова сложно, когато го нямаш и когато го искаш.
и ако можехме да бъдем поне за малко не толкова егоистични, колкото всъщност сме, щяхме да успеем да разберем до колко някой друг е щастлив с и заради нас самите, е не с и заради себе си. ако можехме, щяхме да се докоснем до това, което щастието значи за другите. и щяхме да имаме по-добра идея, какво точно е щастието. то не е еднолично, ако го търсим с някой друг. но почти никой не може да разбере от какво точно има нужда, и затова търси щастие, просто, щастие.

i'm not going to translate everything i wrote, but, in order to get more readers, and to make it easier for them to get an idea of what exactly i described, i'll just say this: relationships between people are everything else than easy when trying to combine two different ideas of what "being happy" means.

dame un beso

2008-11-16T16:54:00.000-08:00

right now, it's almost 2 in the morning, but i can't sleep, even though i'm so tired.
and i'm watching something, or to be more precise, i'm watching THE something, THE movie, THE l'auberge espagnole.
i spoke to Laura, the best person from navas i have met so far ;-), and one of my best friends although there are like 1000 km between us now, and as watching this film AGAIN, maybe for the 1309834570th time, i realized i'm meeting them, part of my erasmus friends, in just some 3 weeks from now. woooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!! i really can't wait for it!!
and the opening song theme, dame un beso, quiero estar contigo, dame un beso,..., i'm feeling as, although, i myself was never on erasmus, i think these songs will be forever playing in my head.

or maybe it's because i think too much about dame un beso the last few days?? ;-)

or maybe it's just the movie?

nono, no me jodas, tio

panchina in autunno

2008-11-12T06:46:00.001-08:00

panchina in autunno, originally uploaded by cappuccetto nero.

no words necessary

2008-11-11T12:43:00.000-08:00

дали някога ще можеш да бъдеш там, където слънцето винаги ще грее и няма да има нужда да търсиш светлина, непрекъснато и непрекъсната? дали ще можеш да повярваш, че няма да има нужда да търсиш нещо толкова естествено и важно, и същевреммено толкова далечно и трудно? дали ще дадеш на себе си спокойствие или ще изтръгнеш дори и последната, житейна светлинка? дали ще можеш да намериш нещо ново, или ще отминаваш нещата, незабелязвайки че всъщност те самите те отминават? дали ще можеш да си дадеш нов импулс, или ще прекратиш да търсиш и ще продължиш да плаваш бавно, тихо и незабелязано, незабелязано дори от теб? ако някой казва, че ти сам отговарящ на тези въпроси, изсмей му се, и му кажи че точно това е, което не можеш сам; можеш да мислиш, да се самозалъгваш, но да отговориш, не, не можеш. светлината е за всички, но някои я търсят твърде дълго, а други им я пречупват, мислейки че им дават красиви и много цветове наведнъж. но дъгата не винаги я има. а веднъж пречупена, светлината трудно се възстановява. но наистина, дали?

боли ме

2008-11-06T12:53:00.000-08:00

малко или много ние всички искаме да върнем времето назад. а аз го искам толкова силно през последните няколко дни, че направо не мога да мисля за нещо друго. защо, защо, защо??? какво трябва да поправяш? остави го просто да бъде както е и както е било, не можеш да се върнеш назад, никой не може. да, но аз не мога да го осмисля това, или не искам, или просто се самозалъгвам като мисля така. и продължавам да си мисля, и продължавам да губя; да губя време, нерви, сили. и не мога и не мога да спра. не мога. просто не мога. и сега пак се самозалъгвам като си мисля че нещо ще падне като товар от плещите ми, че няма вече да го има, че ще мога да спя спокойно и да се събуждам спокойно, че ще гледам само напред, а не назад и постоянно назад.
много трудно, много. и много депресиращо. и много неприятно.
но явно аз не мога.
дано да успея.

moll vs. dur

2008-10-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

if music could transform you into one of its tones, which one would you be?

my answer: all of them. because music is so complex even if just a tone is what you hear; and even if just a single tone is what makes you sad or happy, it's complex though.

if listening to it makes you cry or laugh, would music be something you converse with?

my answer: yes. because that's what we should do, show what we feel.

it's never a tone and never a feeling; it's music and life.

now, i'm feeling dur and moll, maybe more moll than dur, maybe not. either way, i want to sing and feel, every single tone, every single thing that moves my heart.

and i want to hear more. i want.

ако има нещо, което трябва да знае човек, то то е че всеки трябва да гледа напред, защото там са очите, и не случайно.

it will last forever

2008-08-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

a month ago i started this blog with an entry on how the month july, as bizarre as it may sound, changed my life, last year, and that i was thinking of how july this year would change me too.
and it really did. not the month itself, but what it stands for: the end of some fantastic months, which i spent with fantastic people, whom i admire and with whom i share so much now. but the month of july stands now also for the beginning of the time after, the time of "the afterwards" as one of my memory-mates said. so much memories, but also so much more to come for us all, the most important thing we have to do is to "just let it last forever". forever and beyond anything. i myself am now beyond what i was before, because of you, and i thank you all for everything.
for me it will last forever!

2008-07-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

today there was something in the air...
something that sounded louder and louder...
something that thought of us as we thought of it...
something that we have as it has us...
something that we want as it wants us...
something that is around us as we are around it...
something strange, something unique, something like...
joy.

CA-LA-CLA becomes FI-CA-LA-CLA

2008-07-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

ich hab dieses foto erst heute gesehen, und ich glaube es ist perfekt. es sagt so viel, viel mehr als ich mit tausend worten aussprechen könnte: freude, freundschaft, glücklichsein.

ihr seid unglaublich, meine CA-LA-CLA-Commando!!! ich liebe euch!!

2008-07-19T03:57:00.000-07:00

and here's another one, but this will just be like a photograph-résumé of the cheerful and colourful campus-party we were yesterday at.

the sole thing i'd like to add is that in just some two weeks from now i'll be listening to this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IwYQ1Vqf_4

an einem abend in saarbrücken

2008-07-17T05:05:00.000-07:00

und, ok, wir sind in deutschland, so, ich glaube ich muss auch einmal hier einen blogeintrag auf deutsch schreiben.
und welcher anlass wäre besser als über den gestrigen abend zu berichten, den ich zusammen mit meinen españoles verbracht hab :-)
zuerst waren wir bei Eva, wo wir einige spezialitäten der französischen und der kanarischen küche gekostet haben. crêpes beziehungsweise schwarze bällchen mit einer typisch kanarischen zutat, die mir Munia bitte wieder nennen soll ;-) beides war auf jeden fall lecker, mmm...danach haben wir uns zu tode gelacht als alle über ihre träume erzählt haben, und mit charme und körpersprache (oder besser gesagt, handbewegungen, ansonsten typisch für die italiani) alle anderen teil des geschehens gemacht haben (grande Eva!!!).
nach kurzer pause traffen wir uns wieder, dieses mal im wohnheim d, wo der mister dj wie nie zuvor gute musik machte, und wir bis halb 1 zusammen getanzt und bilder aufgenommen haben.
auf jeden fall, nach 6 stunden schlafen und zweieinhalb stunden wiederholen, hab ich heute zwei sprachenklausuren geschrieben, und zwar in meinen lieblingssprachen italiano und español. warum sind genau sie meine lieblingssprachen? ich glaube da brauche ich gar nichts zu sagen, nur dass ich diese leute mag, und ich hoffe wir werden noch andere solche abende, hier, da oder wo auch immer zusammen verbringen.

the first of july

2008-07-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

so there we go, me writing this first entry here.
for me the day 01. 07 is a really special one, and, after thinking about creating a blog ever since i heard of it, i thought it would be stupid if i started to write on a normal day, so i waited until today.
and now, we are already in the second part of the year, and, i guess many of us think on what they've already achieved throughout these last six months, what they will be doing the next six, and whether they should look forward or close their eyes and think of those beautiful moments they already had.
and for me, it's always quite difficult to decide what should i do. but, i think, there are no simple decisions in our life. and, if i take a look back on what i've done in the last six months or in the first six months of last year, i would rather think on what i missed and on what unforgettable time i had, but also on the time ahead of me.
i think, many things changed for me at the end of july last year, and maybe many will also change at the end of july this year, and maybe exactly those changes make us look forward and remember the best of what has already been. and i'm sure most of you know what i'm writing about, and hopefully, everyone of you has learned that the most important thing in our life is not where, but with whom we are, because the people around you make you feel alive and happy!